Holy crap. My daughter is one!
I am amazed everyday to watch her grow, learn and master new skills everyday. Tonight she managed to get herself into her now-too-small-bumbo seat and was stuck, trying to get out. Utilize those problem-solving skills girl.
I sit back and remember everything about when she was born: her smell, her touch, her ten fingers and ten toes, and her teenie tiny ears – just like her father’s.
I also remember the pain, determination and how I literally became my own version of the Hulk during her natural birth. (Just ask my husband about my angry voice.)
I think about the anxiety and being scared my first few hours and days with Charlotte, thinking can I do this? Am I a good mom? Did I get all of the poop? Am I making enough milk for her? What do we do now? And who the hell woke her up?!
I remember everything about her growing this past year, I remember like it was all just yesterday.
What can’t I remember? Life before her. My life began on April 9, 2015.
I wouldn’t change anything for the world. But there are somethings I am glad are over. And looking back, some things that may have not been the best ideas.
Like, month-by-month pictures. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I did them and they were a nice decoration at her party. But dear lord, they were difficult to take. Most of the time the pictures were taken on the legit last day of whatever month she was turning.
At a very young age, Charlie became obsessed with Minions. Mostly because she learns a lot from her father and he is pretty fond of the little yellow dudes. He always talked to her in their silly voices and saying ‘banannaaaaaa’ over and over again. It always made her laugh, smile or stop crying. Now, she is one year old and says a few words, dada of course (can’t live it down that she says dada and not momma), but you better believe this little girl speaks fluent minion!
I think I am a pretty lenient parent, but I have a patience level of -50, which Charlie as taught me more patience.. so maybe it has grown to maybe 5? But I am very happy we never were successful teaching her ‘ut oh’ or giving in to her dropping things and always picking them up.
But I did teach her something that I wouldn’t recommend. Bang bang.
Couldn’t be too dangerous, right?
At maybe five or six months I taught Charlie how to hit her hands on things to make noise, like drumming on a table or toy. Innocent? Until she got in the hands of her older brothers ;).
While sitting on her oldest brother’s shoulders, her younger-older brother (still following?) yelled ‘Bang! Bang, Charlie! Bang, bang!’ So like any good listener does, she hits the closest thing to her with her hands – her oldest brother’s head! Now, she is used as a very cute weapon.
I packed up her old clothes the day before her first birthday. Mostly because her father dresses her in whatever is in the drawers. Today I picked her up from daycare in a too small Halloween onesie, “So cute it’s scary.” Scary indeed. But I digress, looking at all of her tiny stockings, pants, shirts brought back memories of the last 52 weeks. I was flooded with emotions and a slideshow in my head of her newborn pictures to her at our wedding, to Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I couldn’t wait for her to roll over, then she did. I couldn’t wait for her to crawl, then she did. I couldn’t wait for her to talk, and then she did. I couldn’t wait for her to walk, then she did.
My heart sank as I thought of all of her firsts that have come and gone, and just like that my baby is no longer a baby – she’s officially a toddler.
And then it hit me, now there’s going to be even more firsts, and the seconds and thirds will be better than the first time around. We will keep the pictures of the past year, but now is the exciting time – the present.
I’ve learned not to wish her life away and but to treasure every moment, even the not-so-fun days and temper tantrums.
Instead of waiting to hit milestones, I can’t wait for her to be successful, and she will be. I can’t wait for her to show her motivation and drive, and she will. I can’t wait for her to fall in love, with only her father and brothers of course, and she already has. I can’t wait for her to laugh at her grandfather’s jokes, which she will. I can’t wait to watch her amazing life, right before my eyes.
Which will continue right after she wakes up from her second nap.
Here’s to one year down – and 99 years to go.